Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Daycare Guilt Switcharoo

It wasn't that long ago that I was really stressing over having to go back to work and send our little cub to daycare.  I felt like I should have tried harder to find a way to stay at home, because not only is that what I wanted, but that's best for the baby, right?

I struggled with it, but ultimately, my income is too important to the stability of our finances {and our lifestyle} to give up, so I did what I thought I wouldn't.  I bit the bullet, and went back to work.

Even during the first week, I was relieved to find that Rowan really took well to daycare.  And now, I see him thriving there.  He's surrounded by older infants, that spark his interest in learning to do new things.  He has a plethora {that was for you, Rogér} of toys, and colors, and books, and songs at his fingertips, as well as his toe-tips!  No matter how cranky and fussy he is in the morning, the minute we walk into that room, his demeaner changes to a happy, curious little fellow.  He LOVES it. 

So now I'm faced with a different guilt.  One that I never expected.  I'm still trying to find a way to stay at home, because, like I said before, I want to.  But now, I feel totally selfish. Now I can see that me staying at home is not necessarily what's best for Rowan.  If I stay home {and lose half of our income}, I'd be depriving him of this new and amazing world that he is always so happy to be in. 

Now, if a stay-at-home opportunity arrises, I want to make sure we would still have enough dollar-dollar bills to let Cubbie go to "school" a couple days a week.

Funny how we find ways to make things more complicated!

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