Saturday, December 3, 2011

#WEverb11 Day 1 - Choose one word

Last year, I participated in a blog challenge called #Reverb10.  This was a personal challenge, so I used my other blog, bloem, to post my responses.  
See my #Reverb10 posts here.

This year, there is no #Reverb challenge.  However, there were so many people who wanted to participate again in 2012, that KimberlyMichelle, created a similar challenge called #WEverb11.  
See the details and join in here.

This year, I'll be posting here in order to try this challenge as a family.  Not to say I don’t have my own goals, aspirations, opinions (obviously), but I think it will be interesting to take on this challenge as a family.  Of course, most of what you see posted will still be my words {Rogér has yet to embrace the blog world}. I’m also starting off a few days behind and probably will continue to be behind. 
Anyway, we’ll give it a go.

Day 1 - Choose one word.
Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why. Imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you?

2011 - LOVE

 My goal word for 2011 was CONFIDENCE.  I lost a lot of that
over the last few years, and especially during the process of becoming
a wife and a mother.  For me, marriage was a difficult transition which 
was not made easier by the criticism and unacceptance of me, 
our marriage, and our choices by my soon-to-be "family".   
I realized that for the last few years, I had
become accustomed to and accepting of mistreatment, manipulation, 
and lack of appreciation.  I had become a timid shell of myself.

While I’ve done what I felt I needed to do to
separate myself from the negativity that I had been absorbing for so
long, I still had {and have} a lot of healing to do. 

The prospect of becoming a parent added to the
pressure to find my CONFIDENCE.  I was filled with fears about pregnancy, 
raising a child, finances, dealing with family, 
and losing even more of myself. 
Being a new parent is hard enough, without feeling like 
you’re not worth anything to begin with.

I felt that I needed to learn to LOVE myself in order to be capable 
of raising our new little family with LOVE.

#Reverb10 helped get me there, by forcing me to reflect on a lot of 
things about myself.  So did the birth of our son, Rowan.  
I expected to be mortified by the decisions I would have to make for a child, but
I actually have found a lot of CONFIDENCE  in being able to make 
difficult choices for my pregnancy, my birth options, and Rowan 
without letting others’ opinions make me feel inadequate.  I've also found that 
having a child hasn't forced either Rogér or I give up our own identities.
Of course, we've had to make some changes, but we still find ways 
to do things we like to do, and we're having a great time doing things as a family.
I feel that we've only become stronger, healthier, and happier in the last year.
A lot of that is thanks to great circle of friends who 
help keep our heads screwed on straight. 

That’s why I’m summarizing last year with LOVE.   
I found it again; in myself, in Rogér, in Rowan, in our life together, 
and in all the family and friends that support and encourage us.   
We are truly blessed with LOVE, and 2011 helped me remember that.

2012 word – BALANCE

This coming year, I’m choosing the word BALANCE.
We have a lot going on, as usual, but ever-expanding.  

There are so many things to get done on the house, many of which are still
lingering from before Baby, and many of which were surprises since
Baby. Weekends that we swear we’re going to get a house project done,
we end up spending with friends – not a bad thing, but we may need to
learn to say  “no” {in a nice way} every now and then too. 

We still are trying to maintain a healthy habitat for our animals, despite much
more limited availability of our time and money.  We are trying to
juggle Rowan’s needs, work, play, health, and now, preparing for the
new little one that’s growing in my belly. 

I am hoping, though, that we get a little more comfortable 
with the juggling act, because it’s only going to get harder.  

 I want for us to be able to enjoy this journey, but also get our “to-do’s” 
crossed off, and keep moving forward.

 What words would {or did} you choose to sum up 2011, and look forward to 2012? 

1 comment:

  1. I am so proud of you! I can truly see how you have gained confidence in yourself over the year, especially in your mothering! I know that next year is going to be a wonderful time for you and that you will find the balance that is right for your family. Don't forget to ask for help though! Your friends are willing to pitch in when needed!


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